You know, one of the most frequently asked questions I get as a motivational speaker, is "How do you remain so positive all of the time; don't you ever get out of bed sometimes and just feel, fed up?".
The other questions are "What's the most dangerous stunt you've performed in a movie?", and "What's the worst injury you've ever had as a Hollywood Stuntman?", but we’ll leave those for another day.
Today, I'd like to tackle the first question - because a positive mind set is such a key ingredient to living the abundant, joyous life you were born to live.
One of the key Universal Laws I speak and teach about, is The Law of Polarity. Like Newtons third law, in which "to every action there is always an equal and opposite
reaction" so The Law of Polarity offers us a great way out of 'feeling low'.
You see, in reality nothing is 'good' or 'bad' it just 'is'. Whether
something is good or bad, hot or cold, positive or negative is, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder.
To be more exact, it's in the mind of the beholder.
A man might look ugly in the mind of one woman and red hot in the eyes of another. A woman could look sexy to one man, and to another, like she's been thrashed with 'the ugly stick'. :-)
A tasty Tikka Masala might seem quite mild to one person, and yet too spicy to another, even though the plates were served from the same saucepan. It's all about perspective.
Imagine, if you will, a slider switch in your minds eye - picture it in front of you, like a volume slider on your computer.
Because everything 'just is', the slider is really in the centre, right in front of your eyes, it's neutral, neither good nor bad.
What we do as human beings is to make a decision, often an unconscious one, that something is either good or bad, we largely ignore the 'middle ground'. We slide the slider switch to the left a little, thinking it’s quite bad, or slide it to the right a little, deciding it’s ‘quite good’. Sometimes we slide the switch all the way to the left as far as it will go, choosing to label something as terrible or depressing. Of course, we have the ability to slide that switch back to the centre, and even beyond it into the positive, as far as we want to slide it. We have control. We really can make a concerted effort to look at things from a different perspective.
I mentioned Newtons third law, about 'equal and opposites', and this applies to our scale too. This really is 'the clincher' in todays blog, the secret to flipping your thinking.
You see, when something appears on this sliding scale, and it appears to the left (negative) another aspect of that thing appears on the opposite side of the scale (positive).
So if the Tikka Masala was too hot, and the slider slips toward
the negative (let's say half-way) a solution appears half-way on the positive side, perhaps the cooling mint and garlic raita dish you hadn't noticed. Once aware, you try it and find the great tasting side dish cancels out the hot curry! Better still, by eating both together, you enjoy your meal and the imaginary slider ends up to the right, in the positive state. Great meal, great new tastes - happy days!
To illustrate the point further let's look at two really negative things.
- Debt. Let's say you can't pay your credit card bills, and your latest tax bill and are worried about the 'final notices' building up. I've chosen this example because it's a challenge people share with me often during my talks and seminars.
- Stubborn people. Someone you know is so stubborn that it really gets you down, it's a real negative trait that drives you nuts.
To apply the Law of Polarity and my sliding scale to these two examples, we might consider the following:
- Although the crippling debt is far over to the left of the scale, almost entirely negative, what I'm telling you here is that there 'has to' be an equal and opposite situation at the other end of the scale. This is Universal Law - there is no option but to be positives. So let's say the persons credit card balances amount to 5,000, and the tax bill is 5,000. The person already pays 2 hundred a month and the tax man won't accept anything less than 1,000 per month - doom and gloom indeed. However, in this example the person might search for the solution on the opposite, positive side.
A 10,000 loan might be waiting at an excellent interest rate over 5 years. The loan pays off the tax man immediately (phew!) and better still, it pays off the credit cards, which are cut in two right away (phew again!). Even better, repayments are only 250 a month, so the person really isn't financially in any worse shape than before, and yet has cleared the debts in one hit, and moved into a positive state. What's more, this lesson has taught the person to be more careful, they have cut their credit cards in two and opted for a visa card that you load with your own savings, so will never be in debt like that again.
A seemingly negative situation just turned into a positive one – simply by looking the other way on the polarity slider.
- I chose the 'stubborn man' because I have been called ‘stubborn’ many times. When my mind is made up, it's made up. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it, no matter what (almost).
So although being stubborn is to the left on my sliding scale, in the negative zone, I know the Law of Polarity has offered a positive aspect on the positive side of the sliding scale. In this case it's tenacity.
Without my tenacity, I would never have followed my childhood dream and become a Hollywood Movie Stuntman against all of the odds. I'd never have flown a parachute for longer than anyone in history, or bungee jumped higher than anyone before or since - those Guinness World Records would never have happened. Tenacity helps me achieve my dreams, has written my first book, and got me to the summit of high mountains. It is (in my opinion) a great attribute for anyone to develop.
So one person might call me stubborn, but I turn (always) from the negative side of the scale, and look instead to the positive side of the scale. I'm going to recommend you do the same.
The next time you hit a situation that feels negative, know there is an equal and opposite positive waiting to be focused on. Look, and you will find. It's Universal Law.
Wishing You Great Success